{"id":24,"date":"2010-08-13T00:37:29","date_gmt":"2010-08-13T00:37:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.iudaeanovel.com\/?p=24"},"modified":"2010-08-13T18:15:38","modified_gmt":"2010-08-13T18:15:38","slug":"kindle-edition-and-chapter-1-rewrite","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.iudaeanovel.com\/?p=24","title":{"rendered":"Kindle Edition and Chapter 1 rewrite"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>\u00ef\u00bb\u00bf\u00ef\u00bb\u00bf\u00ef\u00bb\u00bf If you would like to read the entire story I’ve put the full text out on Amazon’s Kindle store. \u00c2\u00a0You can find it here<\/a> or click on the link in the sidebar. \u00c2\u00a0I’ve priced this electronic version at $8.75 and hope you will check it out.<\/p>\n

I also revised the first few paragraphs of Chapter 1 in an attempt to make the novel’s introduction more inline with the overall tone of the story. \u00c2\u00a0Here is the revised version of Chapter 1:<\/p>\n

Britannia, AD 133<\/div>\n
I was tired and my back was sore from the day\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s ride. \u00c2\u00a0The horses plodded along the ridge, their hooves slapping at the muddy ground. \u00c2\u00a0The sweat under my leather armor was beginning to make me \u00c2\u00a0cold as the fog rolled into the lower valleys and the clouds thickened overhead. \u00c2\u00a0It was late afternoon, and I felt rain drops as Speratus held his sword above his head and looked out to the north.<\/div>\n

<\/span>There were sixteen of us, half the unit, with Speratus, our decurion and commanding officer, in the lead. \u00c2\u00a0His red cloak billowed in the wind as conspicuous as a rooster’s crest while he waved \u00c2\u00a0his sword to get our attention. \u00c2\u00a0He pointed to just below the horizon. \u00c2\u00a0I was the duplicarius, second in command, and in the back keeping the men in line.<\/p>\n

Through the mist I could barely make out a small cart being pulled by a mule, a handful of men walking alongside. \u00c2\u00a0We turned our mounts off the ridge and down a steep slope. \u00c2\u00a0The horses jumped and slid to keep their footing. \u00c2\u00a0When I looked up again the men with the cart were running, whipping the mule to go faster. \u00c2\u00a0They were heading for the treeline and a small opening in the brush where the trail disappeared into the woods. \u00c2\u00a0We urged the horses into a full gallop across the plain between us and the brigands, dodging tree stumps and mudholes that had been left from when the forest was cleared for timbers and firewood. \u00c2\u00a0My discomforts melted away as my heart began to pound in time with the hoof beats.<\/p>\n

The cart was well into the woods by the time we reached the trail which was more of a small muddy stream than a serviceable path. \u00c2\u00a0We barreled into the narrow opening. \u00c2\u00a0I leaned close to my horse, Tempest, and cut away branches and briars with my sword. <\/span>What little sunlight there was disappeared, and my eyes slowly adjusted to the dark woods.\u00c2\u00a0 Not more than a couple hundred feet ahead of us, I saw a bright spot in the thick canopy.\u00c2\u00a0 The ruts left by the cart led into a clearing. <\/span>We rode into the glen, and Speratus swung his sword above his head instructing us to fan out.\u00c2\u00a0 The clearing was encircled by bunches of blackberries and other thorny shrubs.\u00c2\u00a0 The mule stood harnessed to the cart in the center of the meadow munching on the wet grass, oblivious to the horses.<\/p>\n

Our six archers readied arrows and scanned the woods beyond the underbrush.\u00c2\u00a0 We knew it was an ambush, but it was going to take more than a bunch of muddy brigands to defeat fully trained, Roman cavalry. \u00c2\u00a0For a moment, everything was silent except the heavy breathing of the horses.\u00c2\u00a0 The rain had died to a light drizzle, and the woods beyond the clearing were dark and full of mist.\u00c2\u00a0 I heard the bow creak before I saw the first arrow.\u00c2\u00a0 I turned Tempest toward its source and jabbed my heels into her sides.\u00c2\u00a0 We lurched forward. <\/span>My shield protected my head and torso.\u00c2\u00a0 Guttural screams echoed off the trees. <\/span>Arrows whizzed by in all directions, and my shield shuddered as they stuck in the wood.\u00c2\u00a0 I urged Tempest toward the edge of the clearing.\u00c2\u00a0 She vaulted over the brambles. <\/span>Thorns cut her belly, as she crashed to the other side.\u00c2\u00a0 Landing outside the clearing, I saw two men drawing their next arrows, one on either side of me.\u00c2\u00a0 I swung my sword at the one on the right splintering his bow and knocking him back.\u00c2\u00a0 The other one ran for cover giving me the advantage. \u00c2\u00a0Using the bottom of my shield, I opened a bloody gash on the back of his head.\u00c2\u00a0 He stumbled and fell to the ground.<\/p>\n

Before I could pull up, a giant of a man charged out from behind a large oak.\u00c2\u00a0 He was bare-chested and standing his ground.\u00c2\u00a0 He swung a large axe and screamed like a banshee.\u00c2\u00a0 The axe sunk deep into Tempest\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s chest.\u00c2\u00a0 She rolled forward tossing me out of the saddle.\u00c2\u00a0 I used my shield to ease the fall and rolled away from the madman, but before I could get up, the axe sliced toward me.\u00c2\u00a0 On one knee, I held up my shield and braced myself.\u00c2\u00a0 The axe caught the edge of my shield and ripped it off my arm leaving a long red burn from my elbow to my wrist.\u00c2\u00a0 The axe came at me again.\u00c2\u00a0 I rolled to the side.\u00c2\u00a0 It clipped my scale armor and sunk into the forest floor.\u00c2\u00a0 I slashed back wildly managing to nick him in the side.\u00c2\u00a0 In one motion, he ripped the axe from the ground and swung it again.\u00c2\u00a0 I jumped back hitting a tree. <\/span>The axe came within inches of my face and sprayed me with mud.\u00c2\u00a0 Continuing the motion, he brought the axe over his head and then down toward my skull.\u00c2\u00a0 I dropped to the ground; the axe sunk into the tree.\u00c2\u00a0 His abdomen exposed, I drove my sword into his chest under his ribs.\u00c2\u00a0 His expression shifted from rage to surprise, as he looked down at my sword.\u00c2\u00a0 He let go of the axe with his left hand and grabbed my shoulder.\u00c2\u00a0 The bastard was strong. <\/span> <\/span>I couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t pull away.\u00c2\u00a0 The surprise left his eyes, and his right hand reached for a large knife at his waist.\u00c2\u00a0 He raised the knife above his head. \u00c2\u00a0Instead of trying to get away, I pushed my sword up to the hilt.\u00c2\u00a0 The point came out his back, and he slumped over.\u00c2\u00a0 He stunk of sweat and dung, and I twisted to the side to slough him off.\u00c2\u00a0 He fell to the ground like he was made of lead.<\/p>\n

Remembering the other archer, I turned to look for him.\u00c2\u00a0 He was standing on the other side of Tempest looking down at the dead man with a dumb look on his face. \u00c2\u00a0Before I could stand up and straighten my armor, he turned and bolted into the woods.\u00c2\u00a0 He had no armor and no weapons besides the broken bow.\u00c2\u00a0 He would easily outrun me, so I picked up a dead branch off the ground and threw it at his legs.\u00c2\u00a0 I got lucky.\u00c2\u00a0 It caught him behind the knees, and he fell into the underbrush.\u00c2\u00a0 I had my sword at his back before he could stand.\u00c2\u00a0 He rolled over to face me, and I realized that he was not more than sixteen, no older than my eldest son.<\/p>\n

I told him to get up, using my sword to show him what I meant in case he didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t speak Latin.\u00c2\u00a0 I prodded him back to where Tempest was laying on a blanket of blood-soaked leaves.\u00c2\u00a0 The fighting was over, and I only saw our men cleaning their swords.\u00c2\u00a0 Speratus walked out from around the brambles and over to the dead man.<\/p>\n

He kicked the behemoth in the side, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Impressive work.\u00c2\u00a0 Are you alright?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m fine. <\/span>He was all bluster and no finesse.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I knelt down next to Tempest.\u00c2\u00a0 Her breathing was labored and choked with blood.<\/p>\n

Speratus continued, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153The bastards killed Marius, an arrow clean through the neck.\u00c2\u00a0 And Sarkis got his leg pinned to his horse, shredded it up when he fell off, but he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll live as long as he doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t bleed out.\u00c2\u00a0 Lucius will take over as signifier for now.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

He kept talking, but my attention was on Tempest.\u00c2\u00a0 She had saved me more times than I could remember.\u00c2\u00a0 She followed my every lead regardless of her own safety, and I led her right into that brigand\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s axe.\u00c2\u00a0 The wound was deep, and she wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t going to last much longer.\u00c2\u00a0 I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to see her suffer, so I took my sword and placed the tip behind her left front leg.\u00c2\u00a0 I drove it into her heart as quickly as I could.\u00c2\u00a0 She shuddered and I felt the muscles in her neck go limp.<\/p>\n

Speratus had stopped talking and was watching me, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Take Marius\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s horse, he doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t need it anymore.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

I nodded.\u00c2\u00a0 I pulled some rope from my saddle and went to the boy.\u00c2\u00a0 He offered no resistance as I bound his hands, but he kept looking over at the other archer, who was starting to moan and roll his head.\u00c2\u00a0 \u00c2\u00a0 Speratus walked over, pulling a knife from his belt.\u00c2\u00a0 The boy\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s eyes grew wide, and I turned just as Speratus pulled the man\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s head back and slit his throat like a freshly pinned deer.\u00c2\u00a0 The boy lurched forward and screamed the\u00c2\u00a0Celtic\u00c2\u00a0word for father.\u00c2\u00a0 I recognized it because it was what my sons called me.\u00c2\u00a0 They\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d learned it from their mother, who was born into a local Celtic tribe called the Brigante.\u00c2\u00a0 I held the boy back.\u00c2\u00a0 I knew Speratus would not hesitate to do the same to him if provoked.\u00c2\u00a0 The boy dropped to his knees, tears welling up in his eyes.<\/p>\n

I turned to Speratus, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What did you do!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

He casually cleaned the blade of his knife, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What? He tried to kill you. Given the chance, he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d just as soon slit your throat or mine.\u00c2\u00a0 Besides, we don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t need a wounded Celt taking time away from our injured men.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153He was no threat to anyone.\u00c2\u00a0 I thought we were supposed to civilize these people not murder them.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Always the idealist. Why didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t you try to civilize him?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Speratus pointed the knife at the man I killed. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153These people don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want what we have.\u00c2\u00a0 They’re perfectly happy skimming off the edges and taking what doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t belong to them.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Looking down at the archer and then at the boy he continued, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153An example has to be set so they know that we aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t going to let them get away with it.\u00c2\u00a0 Either they accept the rules, or they die resisting.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Nice speech. \u00c2\u00a0You do realize that was his father?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I said.<\/p>\n

Speratus clenched his jaw, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Have you forgotten who is in charge here?\u00c2\u00a0 My actions are not yours to question.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

When he asserted his rank, I knew I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d pushed him far enough, and to some extent he was right.\u00c2\u00a0 These men weren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t going to change their ways regardless if we tried to convince them with swords or rhetoric.\u00c2\u00a0 They no more wanted the life of a Roman then I wanted the life of a Celt.<\/p>\n

Speratus walked away.\u00c2\u00a0 I went over to the man with the axe and picked up the knife he had intended for my back.\u00c2\u00a0 As a Roman soldier and especially as the duplicarius, I was entitled to whatever loot I found on the battlefield.\u00c2\u00a0 This benefit alone drove many of the soldiers.\u00c2\u00a0 If they made it to retirement, they would get their citizenship, if they didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have it already, along with a nice piece of land and be able to live comfortably on all their spoils.<\/p>\n

Most of the items I kept I passed along as gifts or offerings.\u00c2\u00a0 I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t need a dead man\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s belongings haunting me.\u00c2\u00a0 If it was an admirable opponent I might keep some small trinket as a tribute, but most I gave to the legion to support the unit or left in shrines for Mirthras and Silvanus.<\/p>\n

Passing back by the boy\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s father, a glint of metal caught my eye.\u00c2\u00a0 The boy was still on his knees, staring blankly at the ground.\u00c2\u00a0 I rolled the man over and found an ornate sword and scabbard attached to his belt.\u00c2\u00a0 I cut the belt and pulled the sword free.\u00c2\u00a0 The handle was made of bronze with two fanciful heads at its base that curved back toward the center.\u00c2\u00a0 The scabbard was even more impressive with two elaborately carved eagles twisted in an aerial battle.\u00c2\u00a0 The sword was old but in good shape.\u00c2\u00a0 Also around the man\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s neck was an amulet.\u00c2\u00a0 Wiping away the blood, I could see it was made of gold and engraved with strange marks.\u00c2\u00a0 They didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t appear to be Celtic runes, but it was made of gold and I could get a decent exchange for it.<\/p>\n

I walked back over to the boy and pulled him to his feet.<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Someday boy, if the gods see fit, you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll be able to earn this sword back.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\u00c2\u00a0 I cut away his bonds. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153For now though, you at least deserve the right to bury your father,” I said.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00ef\u00bb\u00bf\u00ef\u00bb\u00bf\u00ef\u00bb\u00bf If you would like to read the entire story I’ve put the full text out on Amazon’s Kindle store. \u00c2\u00a0You can find it here or click on the link in the sidebar. \u00c2\u00a0I’ve priced this electronic version at $8.75 … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[8,9,12,14,10],"class_list":["post-24","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-story","tag-bar-kokhba","tag-fiction","tag-historical-fiction","tag-iudaea","tag-novel"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.iudaeanovel.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.iudaeanovel.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.iudaeanovel.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.iudaeanovel.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.iudaeanovel.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=24"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.iudaeanovel.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.iudaeanovel.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=24"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.iudaeanovel.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=24"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.iudaeanovel.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=24"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}